The disability is the easy part

All my life I have had my disability, so it something I have grown up with. In having my disability it doesn’t stop from doing the things I want to do in my life. There are times when it does get in the way, I like to try and find a way around these barriers. I still like to try and do the same things, as a person who doesn’t have a disability.

Since I was young people have always asked me “Is your disability not hard to deal with?” When I was young I did feel as I got older the disability was going to be the hard part. Actually going through the experience and living with it all my life, the disability is the easy part. Don’t get me wrong there is time when I wished I didn’t have it. I have learnt that having my disability is part of who I am and I’m okay with that.

As I have grown up I have found from having my disability, it all the other stuff that is hard to deal with in life. I definitely feel there is a lot of pressure put on disabled people to try and fit in with abled bodied people. This isn’t always easy, sometimes other people don’t want to be bothered and have that responsible put on that to make sure you fit in. Going to main stream school, I have found people only want to be your friend when they want to look good, in front of the right people. This really annoyed me; I wanted to be friends with people because they wanted it too. Not just because they were doing it to please the right people, giving me a false sense of hope.

Now that I’m a teenager, I have found this is the most difficult time to deal with not being accepted or fitting in. As a lot of the abled bodied friends I had inside and outside school don’t really want to bother with me on week night and weekends. They find it easier not to invite me out with them, so they can still do things without having to change plans to take my disability into account. A lot of the time I’m left to spend the weekend with family, which I do love. When it’s happening every weekend, you do get to a point where you just want to have fun with people your own age.

From having the disability, I have spent a lot of time in and out hospital. I have noticed that older people are a lot more accepting of my disability. This can be a little awkward at times; I don’t want to grow up before my time. I want to be able to take the time and enjoy my life and do it with friends my own age. I know it’s not easy when you have an on-going battle of trying to fit in and be accepted as someone with a disability, when people look at you differently for who you really are.

Zara :)

Blogging Again!

So I have had a blog for a good while now, never really wrote anything in it that is of importance to me. The entries I did share all came from different website and blogs I had read online. Sometimes, I wrote what each of the different entries meant for me in my life. That was in a way giving people a little insight into my world. I guess the reason why I displayed my blog in this way, is that I didn’t feel I had the ability to be able to write my own thoughts and opinions and share them with the world. To be honest the idea of having people I know read my entries, scared the life out of me completely.

I think Blogging at times scared me because of different situation I was facing in my life. I knew at time it wasn’t the right for to blog and easier to keep things to myself. As I still seen it as something I enjoyed and wanted to keep it as a good memory, not something I looked back on that would upset. Really this is the main reason as to why I felt blogging wasn’t for me. It was anything that other people had convinced me not to do, it was something I felt I didn’t have the strength to know how to do and make it good.

Recently I meet two amazingly ladies and we got talking about blogging. They both felt I had great ability to be able to have my own blog. One of the ladies felt that from the comments I wrote on her blog I had a good outlook on life and perspective to see the world from my own thoughts. She also said some great things, which I consider to be great advice for myself. Since I have been home, started to blog again has been on my mind a lot. Definitely think that it’s something I ready to try again.

Zara :)